We have a tendency of measuring how socially successful we are by how many friends or acquaintances we have at any given moment but for some of us that might not be the right measuring stick and it can actually serve as a detriment to our mental health if we continue to use that as a measure of our success.
Everyone can probably agree on the fact that we are all different and this can be especially true when it comes to how much social stimulation we need in order to feel that we are having a healthy social life. But all too often I see that people are measuring their success, or lack thereof, against how many friends they have or have many friends someone else has.
And this can have some less-than-good consequences. Not the least of them being that you are essentially collecting friends, whether you really feel that you want them or not, in order to feel that you are successful. You're not being fair to yourself and you are certainly not being fair to the people that you only have around to boost your total amount of friends.
Now don't get me wrong, some of us need a lot of friends to feel socially fulfilled and there is nothing bad or wrong with that. You should strive to have as many, or as few, friends as you feel that you want instead of striving to have a lot of friends because someone told you that this is the way to succeed in social circles.
Having a lot of friends and acquaintances as well as contacts can be a great boon and especially in our professional lives and I am not trying to deny this. What I am saying is that when it comes to your personal life the focus should lie on meeting your own goals and to make you feel comfortable with the amount of friends that you have as well as what kind of friends you have.
Another thing to keep in mind is to not measure yourself against others. While others might have more, or less, friends than you have this it not a good way to see if they are content with their social lives or not. Some people simply feel more comfortable with a lower number of friends while others feel more comfortable having lots of them.
So the next time you are trying to evaluate how socially successful you are think a little bit more on your feelings and a little less on the quantity of friends that you, or others, have.
Ken Johansson is the owner and writer of How To Make Friends 101, a site dedicated to helping anyone with achieving their goals regarding friendship and their social lives!
Want to know more about how to make friends? Visit my site for more tips and tricks on how to improve and expand your social experience!
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