By Vic Torgrimsen
1. Addictions
Not all addictions are substance based. While drug and alcohol addiction is an incredibly hard situation to manage and try to control in a relationship with one participant behaving in such a manner, relationships containing two parties who choose to participate in these types of addictions are extremely volatile. Other addictions such as pornography, sex, strange fetishes, even the addiction to needing to be clean or having things a certain way all the time, can wear on a relationship. It's important for the parties involved to realize that loving someone also means helping them get better when they feel trapped and faced with addictions. Be supportive and try to help your partner find help. Addictions, for the most part, can sometimes be overcome with time, love and care.
2. Infidelity
Lack of communication or poor feelings within a marriage may foster feelings of resentment for your partner or vice versa. In this situation, it is often likely that one party will choose to commit an act of infidelity. There are many types of infidelities but it is usually fairly clear within the boundaries of each unique relationship, which actions qualify as infidelity or not. Secrets, cheating, lying, stealing, abuse or other types of infidelity can often permanently damage a relationship. It is important to value and honor your partner's trust, just as you would want them to honor yours.
3. Inattention
Just as too much attention to your partner can make them feel overwhelmed and as if they have very little privacy, not paying any attention to your spouse can be just as damaging. Don't let your relationship slip in to the doldrums. While every relationship may hit a slow phase, you should always want to create something new and exciting between you and your partner, even if it is something simple. If you let your partner languish alone while you spend time going out all the time with friends or clinging to your family, you may end up alienating the person who is supposed to be your 'best friend'. Do not let that happen! Communicate with your spouse today and make sure they understand that you desire to be involved and included in activities with you, no matter how menial.
4. Lavishness
Lavishness? Well that sounds a bit silly doesn't it? What does it mean when you or your partner is being to 'lavish'? Sometimes, we tend to cling to the things in life that are material and don't mean all that much in the relationships we carry with others. When we choose to spend more money and time fascinated with objects, things and possessions than we do the ones we love, we cause a breach of trust, friendship and love between each other. Owning nice things together is great and fine, but overspending on a consistent basis and taking luxurious trips regardless of a budget, is disrespectful of your partner and shows that you don't appreciate the hard work that went into obtaining those items. Becoming lavish can wear on the other partner if they are generally not into spending lots of money on expensive things, or are frugal.
5. Abuse
Abuse, whether physical or verbal, is unacceptable in any form. If you are the victim of abuse in your marriage, the best thing you can do is to leave, no matter how hard that may be, or what kind of support you are receiving from your spouse. There are multiple places for spouses of abuse to go in the event that they have no family or friends to rely on, which may often be the case. Abuse victims are often ostracized from their other contacts in order for the abuser to gain more control over the victim. If you are being abused, don't try to tell yourself that things will get better. Abuse, without proper correction and monitoring by a psychiatric or legal professional, will not improve. If your spouse is not visiting one of these doctors or other experts (or is, and it's not helping) you must leave as soon as you can. This sadly, is a very common problem in marriages, where many people are ashamed or indoctrinated into not speaking about what happens behind closed doors. Your safety is a priority.
These are a few things that may cause rifts in relationships and marriages, but overall the majority of them can be overcome. If you have the will and the drive to speak to someone about the issues in your marriage and can remain an unbiased third party, it may be possible to eliminate some of the feelings of hesitancy, betrayal or anger that you may be feeling in your marriage.
Are you having problems in your marriage? Do you have any fears or concerns about seeking marriage counseling? Many couples today avoid starting marriage counseling because they fear the unknown. We offer a safe and confidential atmosphere in which couples are free to express their feelings.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Vic_Torgrimsen
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