"Are you going to be OK?"
1. "That sounds so lonely!" Honestly, what's
lonelier? Me, sitting at home eating gluten-free snacks in my French
toast pajamas or you listening to your significant other's family fight
over breadsticks? Still me? That's fair.2. "I can't imagine being alone during the holidays!" Why is it hard for you to imagine basic human things? Are you OK? What happened to you? OK, imagine you're sitting with your partner during the holidays. And then imagine they're not there and you didn't have a panic attack because it's not a big deal at all.
3. "Don't feel bad. Lots of people are alone today." Nothing makes a single person feel better than the grave reminder that there are tons of lonely, pathetic single people out there too! I already know that and I don't want to date any of them. That's the problem.
4. "Are you going to get married before I die?" This is usually said by family members who probably won't die for another five to 10 years minimum, during which time you could totally end up marrying someone, so it's totally OK to just say, "Absolutely!" and then if you don't, who cares. They won't remember.
6. "That's OK. You have your cat." I don't know when having a cat meant you were destined to be sad forever, but that line of thinking has to stop. Also, if I'm alone forever but I also have a cat, I'm not alone. That's just basic cat math.
7. "Hey, that's fewer presents to buy!" Oh, great, so now you're encouraging me to be lonely and cheap? I'm the total package! Surely I will find a beau now!
8. "I'm single too." Usually said by a stranger about 10 seconds before midnight on New Year's Eve. Look, just because we've both been discarded like old meat scraps doesn't mean I want to bone you. I mean I still might, but you know.
9. "Are you a lesbian?" Oh, relatives who say this, let me break it to you. Queer people are also alone on the holidays and it is not any more fun or quirky than being straight and alone during the holidays. You just have a cooler haircut while you're sitting in your room alone.
10. "I never liked random-other-person-you-dated anyway." Yes, well, I'm still obsessed with them and strongly believe we will one day reunite, so could you please not say that? Thanks.
11. "You never know — you could be married by this time next year." I do know, and I probably won't be.
12. "Are you sure you're not dating anyone?" Oh my god, you're right. I've had a boyfriend for three years that I've just never told anyone about because I keep forgetting! Haha. I'm so wacky.
13. "New Years Eve is a great time to meet someone!" So the love of my life is going to suddenly appear on my couch or inside the bottle of wine I'm downing alone? Great. Can't wait.
14. "Are you going to be OK?" Yeah, I'm gonna be OK! My house is full of pie and I look fly as hell. I'm not going to jump off a bridge just because I haven't found the love of my life yet. Chill. Also, did I mention the pie? I have three kinds.
15. "You know, Beth Middleton's son just got engaged to a girl he met on one of those sites, apparently she's a dentist and just the cutest thing…" This is when your mom just goes off the rails talking about a total stranger's love life because yours is too depressing to even think about. Also, he could be lying about being a dentist. You've been fooled before.
src of http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a32903/things-not-to-say-to-someone-whos-single-during-the-holidays/?click=_lpTrnsprtr_4
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