Divorcing Friends

Divorcing Friends

12/17/2013 08:14:00 am
By Linda Salazar
Expert Author Linda Salazar
While speaking with a friend she made reference to the amount of people she has been divorcing in her life recently. When I heard the term "divorcing" in regard to friendships I really understood that's exactly what it's like when we end a long-term friendship.
There can come a time, as you find yourself growing emotionally and spiritually, that some people in your life are simply no longer on the same page as you and it's clear they don't want to move in the direction you are now headed. They're not wrong for choosing a different path than the one you have chosen for yourself. In fact, it's wonderful that they get to do exactly as they choose with their life just as you do with yours. What's key to remember is your time with them mattered and you can always take away something of tremendous value from that relationship.
The more I thought about what my friend was sharing with me the more I saw the bravery behind her choice. Because whether you are going through a literal divorce with a spouse, or a figurative divorce from a relative or friend, there is a void that can be felt. Where there was once someone filling that void, it takes real courage to allow the space to be empty and feel into any painful emotions caused by no longer having in your life what was once joyful, comfortable or at the very least, familiar. It takes trust that in Divine right timing that void will be filled with someone who is more aligned with who you are now and supports you in your continued growth.
Now with that said, there is something else I'm inviting you to consider as you contemplate the people you may want to "divorce" yourself from. Just because some people aren't walking the same path as you doesn't mean there aren't certain dynamics in the relationship that will allow you to still have joyful experiences together.
You don't always have to see eye to eye on life's deeper issues but you can absolutely choose to appreciate and respect each other for those differences. As the saying goes, 'agree to disagree' and know it's an area that need not be discussed often or at all. The key, however, for this to work well, happens when both people can agree to disagree while still maintaining a level of respect and love for one another.
I have a friend where there are a couple issues that we absolutely, 100%, do not see eye to eye on. We've even had some heated discussions trying to convince each other why the other needs to shift her thinking. That is, until we end up laughing at the thought of that ever happening! I love her dearly and the truth is there isn't a thing I would want to change about her - except maybe the issues we don't' see eye to eye on!
I'm kidding!
I've come to understand the importance and value of her beliefs and they're what makes her who she is and I deeply appreciate that. We have so much fun together that I would never want to give that up!
There are so many facets to us and as we move through this human experience and different people are going to serve your different needs. When you understand that and know everyone is doing the best they know how in the moment, it makes it easier to know when it's really best to "divorce" someone in your life or to stay connected because there's a component to the relationship that can still allow for a beautiful connection.
With Blessings,
Linda

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