Max Ehrmann's 1927 Desiderata, like many articles, books, prose poems and plays, made quite an impression when I first encountered it. But, not in a good way - I found the Desiderata annoying. For starters, it's thick with oxymorons, those maddening links of opposites that literally cancel separate interpretations. Desiderata, by the way, is Latin for "things to be desired;" the word deteriorata is a portmanteau of desiderata and the verb to deteriorate. (This insight was provided by Wikipedia.) Knowing these things will help you master the material as you continue reading.
If you want to get in just the right mood for feeling serene as you peruse my take on Desiderata, go to the bottom of this essay and click on "National Lampoon" now. You will enjoy an entertaining 4 minute video about the topic at hand.
Perhaps you have forgotten the original. If so, you can refresh your memory after watching the video just mentioned. There is also a link to the original Desiderata available just below the video link.
Updated Desiderata
Here is what I believe might serve as a new, hipper and REAL weller version of Desiderata suitable for 2013 and beyond.
My version, while inspired (kind of) by the original, is modified for clarity, variety, currency, common sense and a REAL wellness slant.
- Be centered in the middle of panic, and don't forget: Keeping your trap shut can be wise.
- Make friends with everybody, provided he/she is not a grievous planetary toxin like Michelle Bachmann. In the case of Congressional Republican/Tea Party's stalwarts of the 80-member suicide caucus, don't even try to make nice. There is no hope. All were elected in Right Wing districts gerrymandered to guarantee the rise of politicians afflicted with conservative personality disorders (CPDs). These people believe the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare) will create death panels and pave the way for the Administration to confiscate guns, declare war on Christmas and ban prayer in churches.
- Tell it right and in plain English; encourage others to do likewise, even if they are Republicans like Ted Cruz. Abandon all hope for reason.
- Avoid low-lifes - they will lead you astray. (See the two preceding bullet points.)
- Don't compete with the Jones's. This is a loser's game; Shoot, there will always be countless others who are younger, thinner, prettier, richer or more popular people than you. Be grateful you're alive and do the best you can.
- Try to win fair and square but know it can't happen all the time. Be graceful when you don't win.
- Don't neglect your career, even if it is the pits. The way things are going, even this kind of work may pan out someday.
- Trust nobody - crooks are everywhere. Of course, some folks are OK and a few are even honorable. What's more, heroic deeds are performed all over the place.
- Just act natural-like. Never fake it - and don't knock romance; in the midst of thirst and famine there is always an oasis. Pay attention to old geezers and act your age.
- Build reserves for coming disasters but don't be paranoid about it. Your worries are mostly in your head.
- Exercise vigorously, but get sufficient rest.
- You are a kid of the cosmos - same as armadillos and planets, you belong. It may come as news to you, but the fact is that universal energies are in harmony. All is as was intended.
- Make peace with the fact that there is no force, source, super being or supreme creator out there to curry favor and, the cacophony of existence, be one with yourself.
- In the slough amidst the heartbreak and hopelessness, loveliness and splendor can be found. Pay attention. Commit to joy.
Summary
As noted in the video, "You are a fluke of the universe. You have no right to be here and whether you can hear it or not, the universe is laughing behind your back."
Still, believe it or not, there are probably people who love you.
So, be well, "pick up every jewel of joy that can be found in your path" (Ingersoll) and look on the bright side of life.
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Two promised links:
- National Lampoon 4 minute Desiderata video.
- Text of the original Desiderata.
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