How Can I Get My Older Coworkers to Respect Me?
The way I see it, you have a few options:
1. Ignore the judgment. If you know you're doing a good job and no one is outwardly criticizing you, then who cares what your coworkers think of your age? Once they see that you're working hard and making a contribution like everyone else, they'll eventually get over it. Manage the potential discomfort by finding a mentor or confidante who can help keep your confidence up. If you're still struggling or concerned this judgment will affect your ability to be promoted or to be given more responsibilities, consider the next two tips…
2. Empathize. My hunch is that the judgment you feel is more likely fear — fear among the older folks that you're the "new guard" that's arrived to change everything. To quash that fear, do your best to be totally gracious and humble. That doesn't mean you can't do a kickass job, but you can do it while showing respect for the longer tenure and experience of your older colleagues. This might include asking for their opinions on a regular basis, seeking their input when reaching out to a longtime client or vendor, and generally being as polite and gracious as possible. (And, you know, not laughing when they ask you how to use "the Twitter").
3. Confront the issue. If the judgment gets really bad, you might need to call out your colleagues' unfair treatment of you. Pick a quiet moment and ideally have a conversation with each person one-on-one, saying something like this: "I can't help but notice that my age seems to be getting in the way of our working together — for instance, the other day when you said in front of our client that I'm younger than your kids. Am I doing something to act young or immature? Let me know because I love working on this team and want us to be as successful as possible." Chances are by calling out the behavior, you'll earn some serious respect and maybe even an apology.
I was pretty good at knowing what needed to be done in the classroom — where to go get my paper edited, how to ask for extra credit, what it took to turn that high C into an overall B at the end of the semester. In the back of my head, I don't think it's going to be as easy when the going gets tough to produce in the real world. I've been working for a year out of college at a job with a small company and can't seem to get that extra boost, like I used to in college, to make the more positive transition into the next level of my career. What should I do?
If you've ever invested in a stock or mutual fund (or watched an ad for one on TV), you've probably heard the warning, "Past performance is not a guarantee of future returns." Unfortunately, this is true of career success as well. Thriving in one environment can be really different from thriving in another.
This is especially true of the transition from succeeding as a student — where the rules have been fairly consistent since kindergarten — to succeeding in a company, where the rules are often unwritten. So the first thing to do is learn the success rules of your small company. You can either ask about them directly (if you're comfortable) or just use your observation: Who are the rock stars, and what do they do differently from everyone else? What accomplishments are most rewarded? What comments and suggestions are most praised in meetings? Then take steps to be more like those rock stars (in your own unique way, of course).
If ultimately you determine that the culture of your current company is just not a good fit for your skills and talents, then it may be time to move on.
I am feeling a bit pigeonholed in my current career (marketing). I am not sure it's exactly what I want to be doing, but I don't really know what "exactly" is either. What advice do you have for trying to figure out your dream job and then actually getting it?
First, know that it is completely normal to question your path and not know exactly what you want to do with your life. What ends up separating the people who live a life of quiet career desperation from those who find their true calling is deceptively simple: It's action. I believe the only way to figure out what you want is to research and try lots of things. Here are a few suggestions:
- Talk to as many friends, family, and professional contacts as you can about their careers. Ask them how they decided what jobs to take and what those jobs entail. Would any of those paths be interesting to you? You might even consider a professional career coach or a web-based career mentor to help your exploration. And check back with your college career center — many offer free career coaching to alums of all ages.
- Think of the interests and pastimes you had as a little kid — dance, art, pets, camping, video games — then brainstorm the possible career paths that include some of those elements you were naturally drawn to at a young age. For example, if you loved sports, you might start to research careers in sports management, fitness training, teaching and coaching, working for the Special Olympics, or managing a community recreation center.
- Sign up for a class or take a part-time job, freelance assignment, or volunteer role in a career field that interests you. For instance, if you want to consider a writing career, try a TaskRabbit assignment editing a manuscript or offer to write a bylined article for a local nonprofit. While you can't volunteer or freelance as, say, a surgeon, you could absolutely watch a biology lecture online and see if it's a path you want to investigate further.
Do you have a question about your job? Your salary? Your coworkers or boss? Your overall career? Ask our expert.
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